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Black Coffee
Black Coffee is a fantastic idea. It’s also more than just an object, it’s a…thing.
Imagine a traveling pop-up mini-mini cafe that just serves black coffee. I can’t say it any better than their website does: “No milk, no sugar, no espresso, no bullshit.”
So what can you expect from Black Coffee? Aeropress or Pour Over coffee.
Can you eat anything? If the place they have popped up at has food then sure, otherwise no.
Black Coffee @ No Fixed Address #12 - Saturday 5 May
The Thousands Melbourne Garage Sale.
Ok…so for the people living under rocks and out of the loop of everything Melbourne or just have other things on their plates, I’ll give you a very brief run down. The Thousands are a bunch of writers who update several websites about cool things to do/eat/drink/see/etc around major cities in Australia. So they were having a garage sale in Fitzroy. Black Coffee popped up in the (of course it was planned!) garage sale and viola, black gold is being pressed and poured for the people.
Aeropress. Kenya.
This was fruity and tangy. The body of the aeropress is crisp and fully, hmm, it is not as “cloudy” as a siphon, and it is just that bit different to a pour over. I loved it because it was different to most black coffees I have had and knowing how many different combinations there are to making an aeropress coffee, it excites me all the more.
Other than saying that this is great, I am going to say it again, this is great.
Go to the Black Coffee website to find out more about this mobile mistress.
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The Reading Room
The drops of rain coagulated on my windscreen while the dark clouds stalked my car and I as we drove around Melbourne. A thick jacket, weather resistant shoes and a yearning for a taste of the Dark Mistress.
The Reading Room hasn’t been open long, a month or two at least but with what seems years of experience behind everyone who works there.
When I entered I warmly greeted and shown to a table and presented with a menu.
I spy with my little something beginning with: Small Batch coffee, Sensory Lab coffee and a Synesso machine. Let’s get started!
Espresso. Single Origin. Brazil.
This was an intense shot with a soft vanilla sweetness flowing throughout its body. There were slight citrus undertones mixed in with the vanilla, also a slight slight SLIGHT spiciness.
Cold drip. Red Bourbon.
This was clean and strong. Oily on the tip of my tongue with a lingering kick at the back. It has a sweet aroma, similar to…surprise surprise bourbon. The hintest of hints of sweet black cherry too.
For lunch…
Fritters Lane.
These would have to be the lightest and tastiest fritters I have ever had. Ever. The spices and flavours were amazing.
This would had to have been the best specialty coffee I have had at a university, ever. Big call. Ok let’s be serious though, this is the only specialty coffee I have had at a university. Ok let’s amp up my claim, this is the best coffee and lunch I have had at a university ever. I would go back to university just to come here everyday.
Today, the Reading Room was a beacon of warmth in a wet maze of concrete.
Building M, Level 1, Victoria University, Footscray Park Campus, Ballarat Road, Footscray.
Saturday-Sunday, 8am - 6pm.
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The League of Honest Coffee - The People’s Market
I had been told of The People’s Market a few months ago. I wished I had of come a lot sooner, and by a lot…I mean a lot.
My friend said “Hey, it’s great, and there are a few good cafes that have set up there and are selling their coffee.” Upon researching this gem of a tip, I found out that The People’s Market was being caffeinated by none other that The League of Honest Coffee.
Operating from a mint green shipping container The League are a coffee-beacon of hope in an environment that is usually devoid of good coffee. By environment I mean a market, by usually I mean that Market Lane at the Queen Victoria Market is the only other market I know of where you can get good coffee. Their coffee machine is a steampunk beast that has been laser cut and loved by one of their friends, the wood panels and the rearranged steam pipes makes me want to stare at the machine all day.
Padre Blend. Espresso.
This had a lovely viscosity with the right kind of flavours throughout its body. Caramel flavours with earthy notes, I think the caramel and earth notes gave it a slight salty grip on my palate that warmed me up. I’d easily marry this coffee. Easily.
El Salvador. Cold Drip.
I forgot the specifics of the cold drip variety but it was El Salvador for sure. Anyway, it had a lovely mouth feel, it wasn’t too oily and was slightly velvety in texture. For some reason, call me crazy but then again maybe I had a fleeting moment of clarity, I thought I could smell fruit and berries in the ‘bouquet’.
I forgot the specifics of the cold drip variety but it was El Salvador for sure. Anyway, it had a lovely mouth feel, it wasn’t too oily and was slightly velvety in texture. For some reason, call me crazy but then again maybe I had a fleeting moment of clarity, I thought I could smell fruit and berries in the ‘bouquet’.
Anyway.
A short and brief write up from the palate of Mise en bean. The People’s Market is closing for Winter and will reopen sometime in October. When? Where? Most of us aren’t sure yet but they are apparently relocating. Sign up to their newsletter and get the information.
I just hope that The League of Honest Coffee is back when they relocate.
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Eclipse Coffee
From the outside Eclipse looked like a trendy white-washed-walls (no, don’t confuse this with Tom Sawyer) cafe that you might find in St. Kilda. From the outside, the people sitting, dining, ordering, drinking and conversing looked like they come here often enough to know exactly what they want.
Once on the inside, I saw Eclipse in a different light (see what I did there?!). If the name Eclipse is anything to go by, the interior is lit like we are in the middle of a total eclipse of the sun. Some people may dislike this especially when you can go outside and enjoy the moody but lovely weather of Melbourne. Most of the light that fills the interior comes from the overhead lights and the small windows.
Stainless steel bench tops, light and dark wood, Synesso machine, medium volumed chill out music, the flick flick flicking of the grinder and its doses. Regulars come and go. Takeaway coffee drinking professionals who work for the Premier’s Cabinet or some large insurance company. A Spanish speaking couple next to me. Girls in black stockings and skirts with aprons hanging off their necks.
Their sandwiches and focaccias look nice. I’m a sucker for chicken sandwiches with seeded bread, mayo and watercress or something to that crunchy effect, whatever the case (of sandwiches) I nearly ordered some food because it looked so good, but then I remembered how good my thighs looked in the little number I picked out of the LV spring catalogue - I just hope it comes in time.
Espresso. Coffee of the Day: Colombia Santa Vita.
Tart and viscous. I can’t quite put my finger on it but I’m leaning towards an orange citrus acidity, merging in with dark caramels. A solid body beneath the surface. The tastes go between piquant and tangy, both sweet and sour, but more sweet. Not bad, I wouldn’t marry this coffee and father its children, but I’d certainly enjoy it’s company on a conference in a hotel lobby, but I wouldn’t invite it up to my room.
Overall?
I’ll try their food next time and give you a 100% verdict then, for the time being, this would would be a snug and cozy place to come when the weather is as awful as the dust and hair tumble weeds beneath your bed. Imagine if they opened at night?
496 Collins Street. Melbourne CBD.
Weekdays only.
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thingamabobby asked: Hey hey! A bit of a recommendation for you, but if you ever want to road trip, you should head down to Lorne. There is this amazing burger place (gourmet burgers, that is) with incredible coffee. They get their beans from Seven Seeds, and they know how to use em'.
Hey!
Thank you for the tip! I love gourmet burgers even more when they come after a gourmet coffee.
I will let you know if I am on a Lorne trip.
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Patricia Coffee Brewers
Sometimes I am easily excited, other times I’m like ‘Oh…you just pulled a rabbit out of your hat, that’s great, I have your ace of spades.’ Patricia got me excited and she has left me with that giddy feeling at the top of my stomach - in other words, I like her a lot.
Black coffee. White coffee. Filter coffee. I love it.
No ridiculous Mocha-frappas or Baby-Baby-Baby cin-OHs! (ahaha did you see what I did there?).
Just coffee, small sweets and various soft drinks.
Their coffee is brought to you by Seven Seeds, Market Lane, Proud Mary and Small Batch - you can’t go wrong with any of them.
Other than the fantastic staff and the mise en scene (2 years and I finally work that phrase in to my writing) there are two other things that I love about Patricia:
1. Mineral Water! I’m all about palate cleansing and palate chasing, so you know how much I love it when mineral water is the first thing you get when you come to a cafe.
2. Standing only! No seats, no prams, no awkward sounds when someone moves their chair back to get up and it sounds like they’re farting. No. Standing room only and benches and large window sills that double as a neat place to put your book, glasses and cups. I like neat places.
Espresso. Candyman - Small batch.
I’m sure I got the exact name incorrect, but anyway.
I’m sure I got the exact name incorrect, but anyway.
This was sweet and lovely, complete with a petite body. Not too tart, but there was something other than the sweet blossom to indicate that this little dame had another side to her. I’m thinking single origin only because the flavours were not too confusing, then again it could have been a very clean and sweet blend. I could have asked but I’m always too shy.
Pour Over. Coko Rwanda - Small batch.
Ibid.
Pour over is the friend that I didn’t like to start with but over time I grew to appreciate their comments and company. This cup of love smelt like raisins and sultanas. It had the perfect oiliness which was complemented by its sweet and mellow tones.
Pour over is the friend that I didn’t like to start with but over time I grew to appreciate their comments and company. This cup of love smelt like raisins and sultanas. It had the perfect oiliness which was complemented by its sweet and mellow tones.
How to get there?
Head up (or down) Little Bourke street towards Spencer Street. In between Queen street and William street is a laneway by the name of Little William Street. That is where you will find Patricia, and that is where you will keep seeing Patricia, because just like me, you’ll always go back.
Faultless.
Corner Little Bourke and Little William St
Hours: Monday - Friday: 7am - 4pm.
Hours: Monday - Friday: 7am - 4pm.
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Hobba - Coffee and Kitchen
Malvern road is one of those names that I get mixed up all the time. Prahran is a suburb that I can never be sure how to spell and I always think of how my older Greek relatives say its name “Pra-haran!”. I know.
On a relatively quite patch of Malvern road, in between Chapel street and Williams Road you should find (if you have your wits about you) Hobba.
Most places have the standard sized door that everyone crowds around and forms long lines out of while they are waiting for a table - stop pretending like you haven’t seen that. The great thing about Hobba is that they have no doors, just those pull down window shutters only they fold and don’t roll. Why is this good? People can spread out while they’re waiting, if you’re inside you get a lot of natural light and fresh air and a lovely view as well. Yes it is one of those places where if there is more than 1 of you you will have to wait at least 10 minutes.
Inside, Hobba is a large open brick warehouse. Exposed red bricks, to me it has the feeling of a successful friend’s large clean garage on their farm out by the strawberries fields. A communal table with a planter box in the middle that is housing a tree. People everywhere but no one is cramped up and without room to breathe. This is one of the best uses of cafe space I have seen in a while.
Espresso. Bali Bagues Sekali. Single Origin.
Honey viscosity with a dark brown flavour vein running down the centre - that’s just what I visualised ok. A clean, dark chocolate coating on my tongue with light honeycomb tones. The body is amazing and its personality is the kind I’d like to take out for dinner and walk her home to her doorstep.
Chermoula, braised chard baked omelette.
Amazing. I have never had anything like this. A baked omelette, chermoula (aka marriage), coriander, chard (silverbeet), Kefalograviera cheese and dill!
Honey viscosity with a dark brown flavour vein running down the centre - that’s just what I visualised ok. A clean, dark chocolate coating on my tongue with light honeycomb tones. The body is amazing and its personality is the kind I’d like to take out for dinner and walk her home to her doorstep.
Chermoula, braised chard baked omelette.
Amazing. I have never had anything like this. A baked omelette, chermoula (aka marriage), coriander, chard (silverbeet), Kefalograviera cheese and dill!
The floor staff were fantastic. Polite, getting everything done, all knowledgeable, know their stuff and actually care about how your meal and coffee was.
I think this all speaks for itself, in a low, sultry voice that sticks to you like honey.
428 Malvern Road. Prahran.
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Free Range Roast Chicken Sandwich.
Cold drip. El Salvalor. Aida Batlle
Black cherry chocolate. I would marry this cold drip. If you like dark Cherry Ripes then this is the cold drip for you. No, this is the cold drip for everyone. This is THE COLD DRIP you HAVE TO have.
Reverence Coffee and Tea
You’ve either heard of Union Road in Ascot Vale before, driven past it/through it, or you know it very well. We will accept those three possibilities as fact for everyone.
Now, you’ve either had a great coffee at a medium to large sized cafe in the South, East and maybe the North. How many times have you had hands down, Dark Mistress blessed and Mise en Bean described coffee in Ascot Vale? Exactly.
This is where Reverence Coffee and Tea come in to the picture. Amazing food, hospitality that makes you feel like you’ve gotten new friends and coffee that makes you stop and stare out the window because at that very moment, all your senses and all your blood is focused on what is happening in your mouth.
Espresso. Single Origin. Bolivia Caravani.
Good grief, I have never had a single origin like this before. It had light smoky and ashy aromas, this was my first time with a smoky aroma - no one forgets their first time. Slightly sour too, but not enough to ruin my love.
Good grief, I have never had a single origin like this before. It had light smoky and ashy aromas, this was my first time with a smoky aroma - no one forgets their first time. Slightly sour too, but not enough to ruin my love.
Free Range Roast Chicken Sandwich.
This was so good that I had to sit down…twice.
My friend ordered the figs with bacon. He also had to sit down while eating…three times!
Black cherry chocolate. I would marry this cold drip. If you like dark Cherry Ripes then this is the cold drip for you. No, this is the cold drip for everyone. This is THE COLD DRIP you HAVE TO have.
This cold drip is that perfect Saturday afternoon in a cup.
This cup embodies those moments in your life that usually only lasts for a short time, except you’re able to experience them every time you take a sip.
I was transfixed by this cold drip. Quite possibly….the best cold drip I have had. Full stop!
What else can I say?
They have only been open around eight weeks but like most great places are running the place like bosses and have everything under control. The other thing I love about…wait let me think about that cold drip again…Annnnd I’m sitting down. The other good thing is that they are open on weekends, blah blah you know why this is good? Because there is no way I can get here on a weekday - that is why they rock.
155 Union Road, Ascot Vale.
Weekdays: 7:30am-4pm. Weekends: 8am-4pm.
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Cafe Denaro
As much as I love an area that is the terrain of my fortress of solitude, I can’t help but cringe or turn away when a local cafe is a bit of a let down.
Cafe Denaro has been recommended to be several times by followers, so it was only a matter of time before my culo sat in one of their seats.
I sat down with my guest, waited a few minutes, made ‘eyes’ (you know how you make ‘eyes’ with someone at the cafe to get them to come over?) with someone at the cafe behind the window and waited. Our table was in a blind spot. Check out my diagram (it’s a great diagram). I ordered an espresso, thingamabobby was finishing her latte. While we waited for our coffees we checked out the menu.
The food menu is pretty expansive and has a lot of delicious crispy looking breakfasts that people love to have on a Sunday morning. Eggs a Go Go was what I felt like, I substituted the hollandaise for avocado.
30 minutes later…
No coffee.
We checked in with someone, coffees were on their way.
5 minutes…
A short machiatto came to the table. It sat there like someone who had sat down at the wrong table at a restaurant - awkward, shitting its pants, sweat on its upper lip, feeling uncomfortable in the clothes it was wearing.
“Excuse me, hi, I didn’t order a short mac, I ordered an espresso…”
Looks at coffee…
“Yeah, this is an espresso”
“No…this is a short mac, an espresso has no milk”
Takes coffee….
Lovely manners from some people…
A long time ago I said “Short black please” and I received a short mac. Lesson learned because of the mispronunciation or mishearing. I now say espresso so there is no confusion. There is no other drink that sounds like espresso….wait…no there isn’t.
Our breakfasts came within minutes of that little incident and hey they looked pretty good.
Eggs A Go Go
Two muffins, mushrooms, two poached eggs, crispy bacon and avocado (instead of hollandaise sauce). A good suburban breakfast. Not overly heavy or oily.
Double Espresso. Di Bella Coffee.
I’ve been to Di Bella’s Roasting House in North Melbourne, even then, their single origins and coffees of the day weren’t that good. As Snape said “Fame isn’t everything” and yes, Di Bella is on the receiving end of Snape’s words (though their food is unggh! worthy). So the espresso I had? Flat, chemical, ezymatic and deflated.
Thingamabobby does and did enjoy her latte and says that the lattes are always up to standard. So perhaps, PERHAPS the blend of Di Bella that Cafe Denaro use is better for milk based drinks. But really…should that be ok? Is it ok for a cafe to have a blend of coffee that is ONLY good in milk-based drinks and not good as an espresso?
Two short machiattos appeared on the receipt at the end of the day.
Thingamabobby said that during the weekdays, the service is great and there aren’t usually any hold ups, so maybe it’s a weekend thing.
After this I went home and spoke to my family (as one does because I am a very polite, well-mannered man-boy). Apparently they had been several times, the last time was most certainly their last after:
- They waited half an hour to see a menu.
- They waited an hour food.
- They got up and left (after no food).
- They walked into another cafe, sat down, ordered, began eating, only to have someone from Cafe Denaro run over to them at the other cafe with their food they ordered in carry bags.
- My father politely refused the food and may have used the phrase ‘Get stuffed’.
I might go back for the food, but not in a hurry.
Apparently they had a change of owners in the last few years. For better or for worse, I cannot tell from mish mash of opinions on the interwebs.
104 Fletcher Street. Essendon.
